Still No Baby

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I’ve thought about this blog and the people I have met along the way about once a week in the past several months. I just looked up some other folks who struggled during the same time I was posting and now they are holding their baby. I feel like all around me women are getting pregnant yet I’m still here, no baby.

We’ve been TTC for 2 1/2 years. For the first 6 months we tried on our own. But as I was approaching 40, we decided to get some testing done. It was then I realized that my numbers are in the crapper. We were with the first fertility center for a year. We had a successful egg transfer, yet lost the baby around 8 weeks. Just no more heartbeat. DNC. It got to the point where the doctor said I’d have to consider donor egg. I wanted another opinion so we met with another clinic.

I’ve been with this other clinic for over a year. I’ve had a successful egg transfer but, again, lost the baby at 9 weeks. Again, no heartbeat and a DNC. In another cycle I went in for an egg retrieval for 4 good-looking follicles. No eggs. Empty follicle syndrome. Another time I had an egg transfer and it just didn’t take. And another time I had an IUI, just for fun. But of course, nada.

This exhausted our IVF cycles according to our insurance. My doctor said that IVF and IUI makes no difference at this point for a sad sack like me. So we are now picking through our IUI cycles, and I just did my final trigger shot for my last “covered” chance at this complete guessing game of sperm meets egg. My husband said he is up for spending our money for IVF or IUI, whatever it takes.  When do you just give up?

 

12 thoughts on “Still No Baby”

  1. That’s a tough question. For me- as long as I feel the intense desire I am still trying. But- having had 10 failed IVF cycles trying for a sibling for our IVf miracle we are now doing a donor egg cycle because I cannot afford the cost and emotional hell of more IVF failures but cannot give up my dream either. Just know I am thinking of you. Oh and I still don’t have a baby 2 1-2 years after I started this blog too 🙂 xo

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  2. I am so sorry you are having to face a decision like this. It is brutal. I was following another blog recently where the mama was having no success in her IVF cycles and then had an IUI last minute as she wasn’t producing enough follicles for an EC and she fell pregnant. Crazy. So I am hoping for a result like that for you 🙂 Have you ever tried taking melatonin? Obviously consult with your clinic but I see so many women getting improved results in their IVF cycles once it is introduced. I also took it on my successful cycle (not IVF that one). Also have you had anyone check for endo via a laporoscapy (sp!). Many women (inc me) have seen great results going down that path. Wishing you a sticky baby in the very near future.

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  3. When do I give up is a question I have asked myself many a time, at the moment I think as long as I am able and strong enough I will carry on. It has been 3 years 10 months for me, I am 42 now. Two miscarriages from natural pregnancies, two clomid cycles, one own egg IVF, a donor egg cycle which resulted in no embryos (extremely rare and unlucky I am told), one fresh Donor egg IVF with lots of frosties and now I am close to a FET wih my DE frosties. I feel for you, it is totally exhausting right! Financially it is draining too, we had no funding here in the UK and our savings are slowly draining. When I think about the finances I think we are lucky to have the option to pay and that nothing is more important to spend our money on. Donor egg IVF is a massive decision and not for everyone, I very nearly dismissed the idea right off but I am glad I gave myself time to work through the idea. I honestly think of the frozen embryos as ours. I wish you so much luck with this IUI, I hope this is the miracle you deserve.

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  4. hi Caroline, I have been where you are feeling like everyone else was getting their turn and not me. I’m so sorry you are in that position I know it sucks so bad. for me it was a matter of when we had to be done financially and emotionally, and turned out our last try was our success. we turned to embryo donation, at my age 46 I knew we had to give up the genetic link. You have to be okay with that, but you may have success down that road. I wish you the best, whatever your future may hold and I wish you peace.

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  5. I know this feeling and the thought of giving up still scares me. I think we’ll have to make that decision when insurance runs out.
    I hope you don’t have to give up.
    Thinking of you and still fighting along with you. xx

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  6. Definitely no right or wrong answer to that question. The first time our doctor mentioned donor eggs, sperms and uteri, it totally threw us. Sometimes it feels like so many options but so little time to get through any of them. All the best xx

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